For now...just poetry...from the Twisted Mind of FireEagle/WaterDragon
[1. Why Yes I am][2. Violence][3. Ride On][4. Threadbare]
[5. My Boy][6. Giving Up The Ghost][7. Dream World][8. Drained][9. Blade]
[10. Open][11. Depressed][12. Sapient Superior][13. Neutral]
Usually I write and post in groups of 13 but 2 more wanted on this page
[14. Tomorrows Wait][15. One Final Time]
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~~~WHY YES I AM~~~

Am I gonna die? 
Why yes I am.. 
Are you gonna die? 
I hope so Ma'am... 

What kind of day will it be? 
I don't know for sure, 
But you'll envy me 
It may be a storm clouds burst... 
a raging flood 
That does it's worst 
Or a thunder clap 
before the lightning falls... 
and then I'll see you in the warriors hall... 

Am I gonna die? 
Why yes I am.. 
Are you gonna die? 
I hope so Ma'am... 

It may be a falling star... 
from deep in space... 
or a bullet shot from afar... 
all I know is amazing grace... 
Yes my love I'll die that day... 

Am I gonna die? 
Why yes I am.. 
Are you gonna die? 
I hope so Ma'am... 

with a battle cry and a mortars blast... 
I'll go out grinning head held high 
heart beating loud and flying fast 

Am I gonna die? 
Why yes I am.. 
Are you gonna die? 
I hope so Ma'am... 
MJMansfield 
4-29-04

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~~Violence~~

Each tender kiss wrapping it’s tendrils ‘round me….
Each slow caress brings it into focus….
Each gentle hug drowns me….
Each touch explodes in my soul….

Your soft words…
Bring violence…
Each solemn word….
Violence…

Your kind ways….
Violent..
Soft eyes ….
Violent….

Your Crimson lips so soft and cruel…
The way they said it thousands of times…
The way that they say I love you….
They drive me out of my mind….

The way you know I give all of me to you….
Your violence.. 
The way you twine my heart into you…
Violence…

Love you, love you till I bleed…
Give you all there is of me….
You know the way you own me…
I’ll give you what you need…

Your sweet kisses leave me beaten….
Your kind eyes stalk me now….
Your hugs drag me down….
Your love keeps me bound….

Beaten, no will to resist…
All the things I adore around me… 
Bound to all those things I treasure…
Everything I need is here…

No matter what I want…
Violence….
You keep me where I need…
Violence…
===========================================
The curling smoke from my burning soul….
The way I choke on these words of love…
The way you shelter me from eternal cold…
It grips me and won't let me go….

Your gentle touch shakes me to the core…
Everything I ever asked for….
You’ve thrown out the door……
You’ve given me all of you to adore…

It scares me how violent love feels….
It ruins me to believe….
It scares me to shake in loves grip….
It has me believing this is how it should be….

MJMansfield
1-2-04
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~~RIDE ON~~

I breathe in deep…
the fire burns my lungs….
I exhale slowly into a new thought….
Patterns of peace fill me….
Altered view..
Heading into the sunset ….great roads rise up to meet me..
The lift and carry me over the swelling waters…
Setting me down upon the snaking back of hard top again…
Bright hues of purple and gold…vibration from the maxed out engine 
Rattling my teeth and my soul….
It soothes me with vicious screams….
It’s heart beats furiously and mine slow to an idle…
Stress fades away and the euphoria creeps deep into every inch of me…
The fading light gives way to the symphony of other combatants streaming by…
Yellows and reds and bright blue white flashes….
The steady clip of the pavement below me tells me I am going safely along
The whole time the lights flying at me make me feel as if I rush into oblivion…
Easing past the slower steeds..
Slipping by and in front of them…
Leaving only the brilliant red glow behind as a fading memory….
Soon I too escape into the darkness…
I laugh knowing that to them instead of the truth of the escape 
I seem to fire away into the void…
I know that they trudge along fleeing the same scene as me…
But they never escape into the freeness of peace that I have…
I almost pity them…..
Almost…
Instead…I breathe again….
I smile…
I ride on…
MJMansfield
3-11-03

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~~Threadbare~~
‘cause I’m Thread bare 
so thin you can see thru me….
THREAD BARE…
Nothing else you can do to me…

Worn down but not broken…
Torn but not shattered…
Just another man…
Like I ever mattered…

I’m so thin you can see thru me…
You walk right past me..
Like there is nothing to me…
Once again you ignore me…

THREAD BARE….
You demean me….
THREAD BARE….
You deceive me….

Keep right on walking …
there ain’t nothing left you can do…
Keep right on talking…
I’m coming right behind you….

‘cause I’m Thread bare 
so thin you can see thru me….
THREAD BARE…
Nothing else you can do to me…

I’m just a poor poor man …
Riding on your world….
Your just another cold cold hand…
In my face you slam your door……

Keep right on talking….
Keep right on talking…
I’m coming right behind you….
Keep right on talking….

Thread bare…
Nothing left to lose….
Thread bare…..
Born hanging from the noose….

Keep right on talking….
And right on walking…
I’ll be right there…
Behind you….

MJMansfield

5-7-03


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~~~My Boy~~~
I arrive home in the dark…
I hear a whining child in the back seat…
All I can think is, to his mother..
Get him something to eat…

He like his daddy unwinds from the day….
I seem to die as he gains in strength…
Faster and faster he churns under way…
Did I really bargain for this …

I hear the first giggle..
A ray of blue light…
I smile a bit…
I forget a bit of the dark of night…

I crawl from my couch to his earnest call…
Then the first “DADDY!”…
Bright red rays seem to fall….
Following after to see what’s a foot…

C’mon he says and scampers away…
One weak step then another….
I follow slowly but off I go to play…
Building up steam I catch up to the fiend..

The first real smile…
Blossoms of yellow and teal…
I giggle myself…
A quick hug I steal…

He squirms away quickly …
Laughing and squeals….
He’s bound towards the ‘puter…
The flashing picture of Nemo is all too real…

He climbs into my chair and calls me to play…
“Want Nemo daddy”
His shining eyes blow away the rest of the gray…
Violet and warm greens wash over my soul…

As soon as I learn the game…
“Want drums daddy help please“….
Not a minute of any night ever the same..
I dance in his rainbow it‘s all that I need…

I play till I’m weak…
and he’s too tired but goes on…
Luckily momma knows when…
And slowly play time is done…

Darkness closes in…
I put my sunshine to bed…
Lights go off  he sparkles still…
I smile big and tear up as I kiss his sweet head…

My terror…
My buddy…
My sweet heart and more…
My hero…
My sunshine…
Rainbow…
My Boy…

MJMansfield
1-5-04
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~~~Giving Up The Ghost~~~

Giving up the ghost…
It’s just a vampire kiss in the pulpit
Giving up the ghost…
Just a heavenly devil….

Slit wrists, open eyes, a frozen smile….
Giving it all to you, ain’t no pleasure like your pain..
I knew it all the while…
But I had to have your bloody kisses ….

Walking on the broken bones….
Of all the lucky stiffs before me…
Your dark love is a serious jones..
But here I am consume me…

Radical temptress dressed in black….
Waiting for your hate to heal me…..
Weak and broken on my back…..
Not scared that your love would kill me…..

Just giving up the ghost…..
Vampire kisses no holy water…
No last rites for the host…
Just burning souls at stake….

Don’t need no savior to save me…
I feel so alive when I’m dancing with death…
I won’t let the healer get me…
The queen of the damned will do just fine…

Just a bloody kiss in the pulpit…
A romp in the choir loft…
All the angels didn’t stop it….
Me and that devil before the cross…

Explosions of blackness cloud my eyes…
Beautiful brilliance in her every move…
I really forgot if I was supposed to die…
I was caught up in her death like groove…

Every touch burned so deep…..
Healings that scarred my soul…
Flesh that fell at her feet…
It was just me worshipping her cold….

Giving up the ghost….
Lost in her deep dark eyes….
Giving up the ghost…
Living in her dark desires…..

MJMansfield
11-01-03

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~~Dream World~~

I gave up the other day…
And I laid down to die…
I became somebody else
I fell into a different world 
And still I was me….
It was a different time…
Maybe yesterday or tomorrow…
Different names….
But family still remained….
I was bolder in my world…
I told my grandfather I loved him..
One more time, and he knew…
with a hug and a  smile…
a familiar laugh and walked away….
I saw children waiting to learn…
And  people to be loved….
I wanted to leave but I was intrigued…
So I went to work….
And I loved…
And I taught…
I laughed and played….
We danced in the street …
We were scorned because we prayed….
And I laughed as I drifted off to consciousness…
I dreamed a different world…
And in it I was still me…
With all my wants for tomorrow…
The vague attempts to see the end…
When all the choices were clear again…
I was me…….
So here I am …
So glad I laid down to die…
By MJMansfield
10-23-03
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~~Drained~~
As the mist rolled in …
and my color drained out…
The clouds wept for me….
And my empty eyes smiled….

Fight  no longer in me…
And the passion stopped it’s burn…
The last needle grows dull…
But I can’t feel it’s burn….

No longer do your screams haunt me…
Or the lust rage to hear them….
No longer can I feel your flesh…
Or curse the smile you flashed…

I can’t swing my blade….
Or drink my fill….
The Jailer took my strength…
The Dr. took my will…

A thousand screaming moments…..
Time took my mind…..
Every nurse had your smile…
And everyone had to pay….

Every one said they’d help….
I watched all the liars die….
One by one I crept to them….
And above each one I cried….

Everyone had to go….
And they crunched and squealed delightfully…
But they could not replace you…
Not a one died as well….

So the Dr.’s finally fixed me…
Broken beyond repair…..
What a shameful grace they gave me…..
Our graves still were paired….

So here I come my darling…..
To hear you scream again….
Lying here beside you….
Forever , forever the bane….
MJMansfield 7-22-03

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