[1. FireEagle][2. Manic Oppressive][3. Depressed][4. Dance]
[5. Sign][6. Someday][7. Fire pt. 3][8. Empty][9. Dog]
[10. Gene Pool][11. Feeding Time][12. Excersize In Mixed Dementia][13. Original]
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~~~FireEagle~~~
The Brother of the fiery phoenix
Flying slowly across the sky
His flaming violet and golden wings
Curling gently as he glides by
Even through the beautiful heat
The sharp metallic feathers can be seen
Razor sharp talons made for battle and meat
His peaceful gaze always vigilant and keen
He is the epitome of war and peace
An ancient warrior, brand new again
Born to love to death is the least
Willing to suffer toil and surrender to win
He is full of love and sweet energy
And yet vengeance rolls gently in his currents as well
Sparks showering form him at his flights apogee
He rolls through the air with the grace of the oceans swell
Oh he knows heartache deep as well
He’s battled lovers and demons barbs
But he would never burden you and tell
The love he carries, so great, heals the wounds
Instead of dwelling in this land on old pains
He takes the love abroad to give and share
He gives the ligt he knows and not for gain
This is what he loves it’s how he cares
So look up into the sun and you may see
His flaming wings slice the sky without a sound
A violent beautiful ghost that makes you forget to breathe
A simple brother of the phoenix being what he must be
MJMansfield
6-24-11
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~~~Manic Oppressive~~~
Yesterday I smiled as you walked over me
Now you look confused as I tell you what to do
Now you think there’s something wrong with me
Just because it’s my turn to stomp a hole in you
I am not afflicted so don’t roll your eyes
I’m not sad or affected
No I’m not depressed
No I don’t want to die
It’s just my turn to oppress
Don’t you act surprised
I learned it all from you
Just because I have a soul
And I don’t yell as much as you
Doesn’t mean I can’t be cold
Yes it’s true I can cruel
I need you under me to here the crunching bones
Time to find a victim
Now get away from me and let me roam
Time to be all about me
Just because I smiled today
And yesterday I frowned
Doesn’t mean I’m cured
I refuse to be your clown
In an instant I’ll be your master
Bow before me fool
I gave you your turn…
And your weakness was a bore
Sit down before your master
No, stand up to be judged
How do you like to be the puppet?
Welcome to my world
No I’m not sick
Just because I refuse to cry
I went to all your therapies
No I never wanted ME to die
I was nice as I could be
While I took my turn
I was as small as you wanted me to be
Today’s a new day
It’s your turn to get on your knees
No I’m not sad
Just because I frown
Today I’ll be in charge
Not your smiling clown
MJMansfield
9-11-04
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~~~ Depressed ~~~
Why do you cower from me
Just because I smile as you torture me
Why do you fear me
Just because I feel best when I am dying?
Why do you run from me
Because I said I love you each time you stabbed me?
I am not depressed
I just hate you
I hate you watching me
I hate you watching me hate myself
Mostly…I just hate you
Dammit I ain’t depressed
I’m dying
From the inside out
Rotten corpse
That refuses to fall
Hatred inside out
MJMansfield
7-17-03
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~~~Dance~~~
I wanna party till I can’t feel my tongue
I wanna dance till my head is numb
I wanna love you till it all makes sense again
Let’s dance while the world comes undone
Let’s dance
Let’s dance
Let’s party with the past
Let’s wrap ourselves in things that used to be
Let’s dance
I wanna drink your love like cheap bourbon
Choke it down and gasp
I wanna drink you in like with all of me
And drown in my drunkenness
Let’s dance
Let’s dance
Let’s party while we can
Let’s dance
Let’s dance
C’mon and take the chance
I wanna be intoxicated
I wanna drink your love into me
I wanna be eradicated
C’mon and blow me away
MJMansfield
April 14, 2004
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~~~SIGN~~~
The sign says curves ahead
One to the left one to the right
Hold on to me tight…
Laying in the night…..
The sign it says be prepared to stop…
Never look back…..
We’ll just ignore the cops…
Warning warning the curves are up ahead….
One to the left and one to the right…
We came up here so curious…
And we’re staying through the night…
The sign it says detour up ahead…
But we never slowed down..
That roadblock sign is dead…..
Slow, cautious, animals in the road…
We passed by all the warning signs…
Because you wanna go….
We can’t stop the journey down your road of sighs…
The man up ahead was waving his baton….
But there ain’t no slowing down….
Once you put that music on….
Bridge out, put it in reverse…
No way to stop it now…
We have to run the course…
She runs her fingers gently down…
Mamma up ahead tried to make it right…
Save your breath on sinners….
We’re riding fast tonight….
Sign says caution man…
The heat upon the water…
Oh no don’t tell the captain now…
The seas have claimed his daughter…
The warning bell was sound…
But I couldn’t see the light…
In your curves I drowned….
Signs screaming out to stop….
I saw them from up above…
and Left upon the rocks..
Inside the shady grove…
As you peeled off your socks…
Read it at hundred going down the curvy road….
The sign says curves ahead
One to the left one to the right
Hold on to me girl…
We might not make it back……..
MJMansfield 2-23-06
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~~~~SOMEDAY~~~~
Someday I want to matter
Instead of volumes of empty thoughts
Or days of endless chatter
Something more than simply bought
I just want to matter
Many days of suicide dreams
They all have passed me by
Forget all the peaceful scenes
I’m not really ready to die
I screamed from every rooftop
I moaned each dreadful dirge
Oh I wish that I could stop
Be rid of this awful urge
I am not ready to go
What mark have I made
Not a thing to show
From warrior, mystic, or sage
How many times have I rushed into the flames
Or driven the car to the edge
Many thought I lived my life insane
Me & death across the line we’d fudge
Met him face to face a few times
I’d laugh at him & him at me
Strange friends on a strained line
Dancing on a high wire no ground below to see
But the days turn cold
And time seems shorter
I’m not quite as bold
And I’m not ready to pay the porter
Bravado leaves the weakened boy
As time steals days back from the man
And he thinks back at all he was going to do
And time is laying rest to his grand plans
The man starts wondering which thief’s next
And the boy gets scared to dream
Not sure if it’s gods revenge or a witches hex
But he knows that time is no friend
I Look at the days to come
Wonders I might miss
The things I should have done
And I pray it doesn’t end like this
So I gather my things
One more time bravado and spite
Pray a little magic is left in my wings
And that I have a few more flights
I want to be daddy for a real long time
I want to be annoying to my wife at night
Loud and obnoxious in a real long line
I want to go out get bent and get tight
But most of all I just want a few more tries
A chance to make a mark that time can’t fade
Just a few more tries
A chance to be, a chance to make
What kind of legacy will there be
Any stories that I’d care to read?
Will there be any thing left to see?
Will any one even remember me?
And I realize all I really want
Someday I want to matter
Instead of volumes of empty thoughts
Or days of endless chatter
Something more than simply bought
I just want to matter
MJMansfield
11-15-03
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~~~fire pt.3~~~
Many talk of holding fire...
that never hold the flame....
in cans and candles, safe....
how can you know the joy...
never knowing pain....
~~~
Sweet sensations coarse thru me now...
as the skin begins to boil...
a second less and all is loss...
a second more destroys....
~~~
Many choose but forget the path....
What rainy days they seek....
The True dance, in rains of fire...
No matter where they roam...
The Fire is their home....
~~~
Who may talk of glories past...
That have never felt the sting...
They’ve never held the fire.....
They just controlled the flame...
~~~
Who may talk of joy...
While living in the rain....
Dance, I dance, flickering knives....
Stabbing deep into my brain....
Tendrils burn and release,
Sacred energy within....
~~~
Who may say they know the truth....
that never held the fire?...
Not a trickster free from strife...
not one that teased the flame....
not one that tries to hold it’s life....
not one who never feels the bite....
not one who doesn’t know the pain....
Who may say the know the fire?....
Who may say they know his name?...
Who is willing to feel the heat?....
Willing to feel his pain?.....
Who wants to know the truth?....
Dance with me a little while...
Tell me now does it hurt?.....
Is that God or Satans smile??....
Dance with me a little while...
by: MJMansfield
1-24-02
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~~~Empty~~~
I know what I could have been
I know what I should have been
but here I am
hollow inside
vibrations of pain
magnified in my veins
Like a pharaohs tomb
a vessel of empty promise
a walking carcass
sacrilege in motion
Starlight meditation
a consult with a god
Lessons un-learnable
Knowledge lost again and again
I am full and weeping
like a dike about to burst
what will spring forth could be life
but it will first be death
Misfortune is the only path
my empty soul does know
so here I stand before you
just waiting for my time to go
mjmansfield
1-20-2005
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~~~DOG~~~
You begged me to be there
Then you kicked in my teeth
How many times must this dog obey
How many times must I clinch my teeth
Before I snap and rip your life away
You laugh at me in front of my friends
Kick me and paint me pink with ridicule
Punch me in front of all your fiends
I learned each time in your sickly school
I’m biding my time
I wave when I see you on the street
I’m noting your crimes….
I speak just to watch you grind your teeth
Flowery words of cooing love
I watch you seeth
You tighten and recoil at my being
Oh I’ll watch you bleed
You begged me to be there
Then you kicked in my teeth
How many times must this dog obey
How many times must I clinch my teeth
Before I snap and rip your life away
Step a little closer master
Let me crouch at your feet
Just laugh a little louder bastard
It’ll be too late when I sink my teeth
Look down at me now
You’ve never seen this beast
Look down you fattened cow
As I now begin my feast………
You begged me to be there
Then you kicked in my teeth
How many times this dog obeyed
How many times I clinched my teeth
My first real smile as your life drifts away
MJMansfield
6-24-06
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~~~Gene Pool~~~
Standing tall
in the shallow end of the gene pool
is it a fool that has pride or pride that breeds fools
I often wonder about things that can not be
and marvel at them when they come reveal themselves to me
I wander down these dusty roads every day
and I curse the dust and heat
why am I fearful to travel them at night in the calm and cool?
I reason that it means I enjoy the pain
and I feel guilty for reveling in my sorrow
I see the things that cannot be and we do the things that are impossible
and I smile
I love to smile
it scares everyone else
they watch me suffer
They wonder how I can smile
they think I must be crazy
and that makes me grin until my jaws hurt
I dust myself off and head into the inferno of the noon day sun
a small song I sing
and one more grin over my shoulder to make them tremble
and I laugh and laugh at them
and they turn and walk away
I whistle a tune as I fade into the dusty path
and once again I'm gone
all they remember is, he was here
he scared us, then he was gone
I suppose the cackle of my laughter carrying in the wind does sound a bit "off"
and lord I howl even louder
gone I laugh
I am just gone...
MJMansfield
10-15-04
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~~~Feeding Time~~~
When angels feed on the blood of human…
And out of the woods comes the pagan…
When heaven turns inside out in disgust…
When even your god you can’t trust…
Welcome to the last war..
There will be no winning side…
When you can’t even lock the doors…
Only battle no one can hide…
Call on Saints ye sinners…
Their among our troops…
Marching down from heaven…
In blood drenched jack boots…
No more hatred driven rants…
Bear cross and bear swords….
Pentagrams and bayonets…
No more biblical misused words…
Last man standing still loses…
For the angels here to feed…
Last man standing proves…
It only takes a man to bleed….
Were just so tired of holy wars…
You called the angels down…
We just want a little more…
Preacher man in your white gown…
Your god has tired of you…
Your ceaseless chatter…
No more washed anew…
No longer do you matter…
You called me arrogant …
You cursed me, his favorite child…
You blamed me for your life's contaminants…
It’s too late, you’ll realize…
No, no more miracles to save you…
It’s feeding time…
No need for prayers he gave you…
It’s feeding time…
No more saintly interventions…
The angels are let loose…
No more prayers to ancients…
This angels on the move…
No, no more miracles to save you…
It’s bleeding time…
No need for prayers he gave you…
It’s feeding time…
MJMansfield
2-12-06
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~~~Exercise In Mixed Dementia~~~
Hello …I’m your stranger you always wanted to never meet
I’m the one you knew you’d never need…
I’m the guy your mother warned you would be out there..
Thank you for creating me….
Thank you for your isolation..
Thank you for stepping on me…
For adding to my desolation
For growing walls to hide me
Thank you
Bless your wee soul for keeping me down
Protect your heart from loving your fellow man
Hold you safe in your ignorant bliss
Safe in your superiority complex
Thank you for keeping me in the dark…
Thank you for trodding over me
For your absolute disdain
For tying me down
Thank you for creating me….
Your lies and condescending tones
Your tortured and low muttered moans…
Rolling your eyes as you pass on by
Thank you for creating me
The Creature you despise
Remember what your momma said?
Stranger….
Don’t get involved.
Don’t let their words in your head.
Stranger….
Don’t look them in the eyes
Look at them they’re better off dead
Stranger….
Look at me sweet heart
The one you created
Stranger….
On the other side of your world
Otherside of your bed
Stranger….
Thank you for hating me
Thank you feeding me threats
For manure piled deep
For never missing a step
Thanks for creating me…..
MJMansfield
6-17-06
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~~~ORIGINAL~~~
Let’s do something original let’s worship ourselves..
Let’s write songs that no one sells…
Let’s quote our own thoughts…
Let’s be our own moral guide…
Let’s be original…
No matter what the cost may be…
Let’s be original…
My world my thoughts, just me….
Let us sing a song…
That no one has ever sang….
Let’s a song…
No one has ever played…
Let’s quote beautiful works…
Never before spoken aloud…
Let’s speak our own words…
Lift mysteries shroud…
Let’s lead ourselves thru the valley…
Lift myself out of life’s peril…
Let’s lead ourselves to truth…
No mandated prayer needed…
Let’s be original…
May the lizard wear feathers…
The fish fly freely…..
May my friends smile without charge…
May the birds sing off key in perfect syncopation…
May every jackhammer echo our thoughts in muffled beats of passion..
Let’s be original…
Like no other….
Twisted in sweet perilous love and friendship…
Let’s be original…
MJMansfield
2-21-06
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