[1. Too Strong][2. Whispers][3. Wrapped In Darkness][4. Drowning Inside]
[5. Outcast][6. I Will Stand][7. It Bubbles Up][8. Would Be So Easy][9. Thinking]
[10. Cannibalism][11. ][12. ][13. ]
I do not belong to the cult,I watch them huddle and chant
I can not be like them, But neither will I curse or rant

It is what it is, I can be complete by myself
I don't need to be part of this, I can stand alone 

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~Too Strong~
Too damn strong to die…
Too weak to go on
Stuck in a hellish purgatory
So tell me what I’ve won

Warrior with no battles left to fight
Sword caked with rust and blood
A holy man with no god to set me right
Cook my food over a pit filled with holy pages 

Too damn strong to die
Too weak to go on
Cursing at the gold gray sky
Quicksand won’t pull me under

Old man in a body young
Mind it plays tricks on me.
Thinking back on all I’ve done
Watched them all slip away

Too damn strong to die
Too weak to go on
Oh my how I would cry
If I thought I could stop

I’ll always be a smiling friend 
My soul never left not one behind
And I’ll be with you too, long after the end
For now I sit and talk with you and gently hold your hand

Too damn strong to die
Too weak to go on
Too damn strong to give it up
And so I carry on…

MJMansfield
9-6-11
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~~~Whispers~~~
The whispers in my mind 
voices sweet and old 
cross the void of time 
and wrap me in their hold

a word as fresh as now 
wafting on the breeze 
A look out on the bow 
crashing thru times waves with ease

soon I am enveloped in memories of them 
thoughts heavy and old 
sounds that a life cannot dim 
Warm loving memories that leave me cold

and not a one would I give up 
nor one friend I would have left behind 
even as each chapter shut 
Beautiful scarring my humble mind 
MJMansfield 
9-15-2011
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~~~Wrapped in Darkness~~~

wave after wave breaking upon my mind
each soft whisper of days gone by
angels of memories and pictures of you
appear as sparkles in the back of my eyes
the warmth of a thousand long dead hugs
creeping sweetly through my soul
The loves that pump me up like no drug
in complete darkness I grin in the mirror

I close my eyes and I see it all
I shut down my simple minds confusion
I answer the gods weak calls
I let the memories explode into me

Wrapped in the extreme brightness of the night
stroking each long gone strand
Caught in it's soft beautiful might
fighting to make sure it doesn't release me
MJMansfield
9-16-2011 
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~~~Drowning Inside~~~
I wear these goggles
out here in the wasteland
not to keep water out
but to keep tears in

I keep my pains silent and personal
I’m drowning on the inside
drowning on the inside
With a quick smile I make it all marginal

I must be strong too much depends on it
They all look at me, already trying to prop me up
Oh how they would wail if they knew the depth
So I smile to protect them from themselves, is that corrupt?

I wrap my face not to keep dust out but to keep the sobs in
oh those precious moments when I am truly alone
When I can collapse and I can cry furiously with abandon
Those precious moments when I understand mortalities humor

I wear these masks not to scare you but to hide my own horror
I can’t bear to look in the mirror anymore
I would not force you to see me either
what a shameful existence for the truth bearer

I wear my snorkel not to bring in air
But to make sure I don’t pollute your ocean with my pain
as I lay in it’s waters wishing I had the nerve to go under
I know as you do tomorrow I will return and everything will be the same

MJMansfield
9-17-2011 
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~~~Outcast~~~
I would rather sit here by myself
Lost in my solitude
Than join your masses
And watch your fake attitudes

A lone beautiful death
Instead of your mass spiritual suicide
No huddled self worshiping mass
I'd rather turn my back and go inside

Call me the outcast
The one left behind
I would rather be shunned
Than one of your kind

I may sleep in an old worn bed
my face dirty from my mothers grace
But although stained my soul is clean
And I'll still smile when I'm dead

I am your outcast
The one that is not worthy
The heretic, the cad
wrapped in truth beautifully dirty
MJMansfield
9-18-2011 
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~~~I Will Stand~~~

once the tired has robbed the passions strength 
and all the gifts have grown dull with age 
I still would go to any legth 
For ever does the love still rage 

When the touches aren't frequent friends 
and we wonder where it went 
Still what I would do for you knows no ends 
this calm now is worth what we spent 

I pray that touches always remain 
and passion stays close at hand 
But if the drift away, I'll maintain 
A love for you that still will stand 

MJMansfield 
9-24-2011 
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 ~~~It Bubbles Up~~~
slowly bubbling up
so insidious it crawls
taking over every bit of my being
I tremble and shake
My eyes flash
my teeth draw blood in my own lips
and those that think they know me cringe in fear
and those that truly know me tremble with me
For it is pure passion
Love and will from my center
Bubbling up to wash me away
And to carry who ever is willing to hold onto me to another place
A wave of violent proportions
A wave of pure crimson
From deep inside
Through me
From the very groins of mother earth and father sun
Waves of passion that could surely crush you if you let it
Or roll over you in a beautiful procession
it is a passion that goes past the core of my soul
Tying the souls of my lover to me and the goddess
Natures full beautiful fury
Where scratches and battles and blood and spit
And soothing pools of comfort and caring are all one
where fabric is ripped
and hearts mended
passion
passion from the depths
exploding through us in a glorious ride
the price is so much and yet the ride is free
Open up
grab on
and Love with me

MJMansfield
9-26-2011 
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~~~Would Be So Easy~~~ 
it would be easy if I didn`t love you and I didn`t care 
If it weren`t for my children 
if I didn`t love, but I always will 
it would be easy to go there 

I could easily go off the deep end 
destroy what`s left of my liver 
go ahead and finish the kidney off 
puke what`s left of me into the trash bin 

if only I could give up 
it would be so easy to go 
let go fall into nothing 
I could easily make the final cut 

Goddess if only I didn`t love 
Stupid heart that begs to quit 
beats wildly for those that are here 
should I curse those below..or you above 

so here I am yet I live 
cursed and blessed with all these fears 
I love them all with all I am 
until it`s over for them My life I give 
MJMansfield 
10-03-2011
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~~~Thinking~~~

She is opened and closed to me
Her sweetness has a hold on my heart and soul
I have seen her and yet still a mystery
I just pray she let’s me stay long enough to know

So many things we haven’t shared
Fretting until my eyes glisten
Scared, how much do I dare
How many ways will she listen 

I say it but how can I know
Does she hear it really
Because it comes from my soul
for her smile I would do anything no matter how silly

I shed my gruff exterior 
My Puppy meets her kitten and I am Me again
Dancing and playing and caring
vulnerable and protective either way no shames

So happy when she smiles at me
Putting up with me when I don’t know what to do
There  holding your hand is the sweetest place to be
So Happy when I get to say I Love You
 
and I do….
I Love You

MJMansfield
11-23-2011 
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 ~Cannibalism~

taking your thoughts
stripping them down
Polishing them up
act like it's a new find

restructuring the words
no matter what's said
it's the same old stuff you've heard
just a new way to mess with your head

This years government
last years religion
it's a strange arrangement
they've created unholy fission

I need a new prayer
Gonna break down your curse
relax, sit right there
No way I could make it worse

Your horrible tale of war
re-writing history
Make it about a sweet faced girl
re-read her loving biography

Nothing that you write in stone
that cannot be twisted
ground down written and reborn
trust me no one else will miss it

The mind trust is just a junkyard
Full of thoughts to be re-used
a million million bards
stealing a million thoughts to abuse
MJMansfield
11-25-2011 
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